Dear Blog,

I know I have been neglecting you and for that I am sorry. All is well just busy. I don’t really feel like updating on everything since my last post so I will just leave you with a short story from my last trip to Lake Havasu...

My Dad brought one of his best buddies Uncle Boo up with him. We got to the house around 10pm Friday night and the plan was to hit the beds because we were going to get up at 6am to beat the crowd launching the boat. The rest of the plan for the weekend was to get back to the house and get some work done. Well, let me tell you things did not go as planned. It all started out with a few cocktails and shooting the shit with each other. That’s when I started to notice the plan go a little array. If my dad has ever made you a drink then you know what I mean when I say he makes them STRONG! And if you have ever been lucky (in some cases unlucky) enough to have a drink that was stirred by “THE CARRIBEAN STIRRER” then it’s probably a safe beat you woke up with a hangover.

What the hell is “THE CARRIBEAN STIRRER” you ask? Well, my Dad is straight out of Bayamon , Puerto Rico and when he gets hammered he starts making drinks even stronger than usual and stirring them with his finger instead of something more sanitary like you know maybe a spoon, or just shaking the glass. I’ll be honest by the time he sticks his finger into your drink and yells “CARIBEAN STRIRRER” the drink is so fucking strong any germs or amebas on his finger are instantly killed by all the alcohol. Uncle Boo and my Dad take their party of 2 to the Coleman chairs and park them at the end of the driveway while the rest of us wind down. I walk outside to remind my Dad I am waking him up at 6am and no later than 6:02am will drag him out of bed to hit the water. And this is when I realize the plan had been demolished by Bloody Mary’s:

I follow the smell of Uncle Boo’s grape flavored baby cigar to the end of the driveway where I am blinded by my Dad’s rendition of a laser light show straight into my retinas! That asshole started fucking with me and making fun of me. That’s when I said good night BICTHES! Good thing too because I think any longer and he would have done some permanent damage with the Magna-Light. From here I couldn’t tell you what the two were up to. All I know is Shelly went out there at 4am and put the 2 drunks to bed. At 5am Shelly woke me up in a semi panic “Where’s your Dad?” oh God at this point who fucking knows “Did you check the driveway?” I asked. She looked in the front and backyard but no Mondo in sight. I am unconcerned with where he is at this point. For the love of Jesus Christ he blinded me earlier… me, his youngest daughter. Shelly picks up a 10ft blow up pool that is upside down in the middle of the living room floor wondering why it was there in the first place. And what do you know there’s her husband face down passed the fuck out. Guess he felt like a swim? Haha

So, 6am comes and goes and Mondo is still unconscious. Uncle Boo’s state is unclear until about 9am when he comes walking out of the room all tossed and announces to everyone “I THREW UP! YUP, LIKE A BITCH!” I wrote that entire sentence in all CAPS because that’s just how he said it. Loud.

Needless to say we finally got on the water that afternoon. Hangovers and all, for once theirs not mine.

I have pictures but they take to long to upload so use your imagination. Until next time Suckers…