Happy Birthday Shane-In-The-Ass!!!

I had a great weekend. I spent Friday night with my Life Partner! We planned on going down to Huntington to be wined and dined courtesy of my parent’s gift certificates but it did not work out and we decided to keep it classy and head back to BP. We just wanted to sit and chat because it has been a few months since we have been able to get the low down on each other besides emails. So, we figured cheap beer and chubby food was a good plan and spent the night sipping Coors Light/Bud Light schooners and devouring Alber Tacos. We went to Campus and had a great time in the corner (purposely by ourselves) until some weirdo who was so drunk he couldn’t even speak let alone make a coherent sentence fell in love with Julie. Not sure if putting your face really close to someone else’s and staring really hard while mumbling god know what counts as flirting but Julie was NOT amused. After making an honest attempt at being polite Julie had to resort to more drastic measures get rid of Julio? Juan? ummm Pablo? (I don’t remember what his name was but I am pretty sure it was one of those if not something close) Well, after she let him have it he finally said something we could make out as the English language. He told her she was a fucking bitch! Haha Listen Paco your correct about that one now beat it! After that little altercation shit head only came back once so I guess Jules has still got it haha. Thanks babe for the fun night and I better see you again before you leave!!!



Saturday was Tami’s baby shower! She looks sooo cute! Is Hunter done cooking yet? We can’t wait to see him! I didn’t win any of the baby games but I think we all know how great I am with babies so pretty sure no one expected me to. I did get to catch up with some great girls I rarely see anymore. After the shower I headed to Shane’s to start his birthday festivities. We watched the fights at a friend’s house. In between the fights Rich asks us if we want to see what his daughter built earlier that day. We of course say yes thinking it is something more appropriate for an 8 year old to build than a machine gun! What the fuck? Anyway when the fights we over we headed over to another friends and had some drinks. This is Steve. He is Kenny’s roommate’s dog and he is an alcoholic. If you leave your drink unattended Steve will sneak over, somehow pick it up by the lid and take off with it. He’s a miniature greyhound and runs gnarly fast and when he gets mad at his owner Kenny said he will jump the fence no problem and take off down the street. He has that guilty look on his face because that’s his pile of stolen beers:











At midnight we celebrated Shane’s 32nd birthday with a shot of tequila! He is going to kill me for posting this video but I think it is so funny. As you can tell from Michael's (who was the designated drivers) face we are pretty annoying so if you can make it that far make sure you watch Steve's apperance at the end…

Untitled from Tiffany Fernandez on Vimeo.

Sunday we continued our celebrating at the Angels game. Its super nerve racking to tail gate, those damn horse cops are everywhere! We were pretty good at hiding our drinks so we didn’t get a warning or anything but they wrote tickets all around us. So, if you are ever drinking in the Angels stadium parking lot watch out it’s a $250 ticket. We had pretty good seats in the field box section. We watched about half the game at our seats and then the other half in suite 58 . Thanks Kristy!!! I have been in a few suites before but this suite by far had the best view. We were almost right behind home plate on the 1st base side. It was so hot but a great game, the Yankees got swept ha suck it Yankees! I have been dying for Shane’s birthday to get here. I got him a happy birthday on the big screen and could not wait to see his reaction to it. Sorry about my photography skills:







And I will end with a few more from the game:















Hope everyone had as good of a time as we did! I know the birthday boy did because this is how I drove him home haha

For Daddy's Girls

The jet skis are fun and all but a boat has them beat by a million miles. We pulled her out of the garage cleaned her up a bit and now she is at the shop getting tuned up and water ready. The parents are headed back out to the desert with their friends for some water time and more house fixing up. I am soo ready! Let's go! Let's go!!!

Where is my sister when I need her?

Oh where oh where to start? How about from the start of my fun filled holiday? Since Shane was up in the Sequoias and wasn’t going to come home until Friday evening I decided to take Wednesday and Thursday off along with my Friday paid holiday and head up to our new house in Lake Havasu with my parents. Butt (my dad’s nickname), Shelly (my biological mothers first name), Lollie and I woke up at 5:00am and headed out to the desert to get the keys to the house and get started on fixing up the place. 5 hours later including a few pit stops in between we flew right past The Bluewater (Shelly’s hangout) without any gambling or cocktails and most importantly no incidences involving a moving violation. We stopped and bought a washer and dryer, meet the real estate agent to get the keys to the house and what felt like a million other errands. Since the water was not yet turned on in the house we got a spot and dropped the jet skis off at The Crazy Horse Campground. We spent most of the day in the truck running errands and getting things in order. After all the running around we picked up the travel trailer from storage and headed back to the Crazy Horse and of course we had to switch spots, change hitches once again to get the jet skis into the new spot because the first spot that was only 20 feet away from the new spot was just not going to do for my diva parents. One of the jet skis battery was no good so I had to take a ride alone while my parents and Lollie watched from the beach. After some laps I pulled up on the beach and begged Shelly to get on with me. She probably just wanted to shut me up because she reluctantly agreed and got in the water. While discussing our strategy Lollie who usually is not so amused by water swam all the way out to us haha she was sooo cute! Well, let’s just say our strategy didn’t go as planned because when I told Shelly to counteract my weight she leaned right into me and dramatically threw herself into the water blaming me. Hmmmm… My mom the actress? I think so, maybe that was her plan the whole time?    Early Thursday morning they took the jet skis over to the house. Lollie and I put our feet in the water while we waited for them to get back. They brought breakfast and we hauled the trailer over to the house. We thought it would be funny to park the trailer in front of the house you know like they do with the bus on that Extreme Makeover show? Except we thought it was really funny because our trailer is what we like to refer to as a classic and the outside of the house is… well… take a look…  MOVE THAT TRAILOR!!!   We spent the rest of the time pulling up the carpet, painting, changing the locks, all sorts of odd jobs. Butt defiantly did most of the work and I tried to help but I am for sure far from a handy man. And Shelly well her main job was to run to Home Depot only about 90238490 times and she took a lot of breaks, every time I went looking for her she was either in the air conditioning or in the blowup pool. WHAT THE?!?!?!Master Bedroom – Pistachio Nut Green  Smallest Room (Mailee’s) –  Cotton Candy Blue  We still have the middle bedroom to paint. The carpet and baseboards are already out so I will have to post a picture when that gets finished. Poor Lollie really did not appreciate having all the banging around the house and it took her along time to warm up just a little if at all to being there. It was 115 everyday and she didn’t eat anything for 3 days so finally we bought a bag of beef jerky and sure enough that was the only thing she had the whole trip. On the other hand the 3 of us ate like fat ass pigs! And drank a whole lot of Coronas, each of us had our own style. Butt- Corona OG style, Tiff- Corona Light and Shelly- Coronitas direct quote “because they are cute! I try to explain to her that beer is super gross and you do not drink it because it is “cute” you drink it to get hopped up! She never listens to me though.   I can honestly say I never want to sleep in the same room as my parents EVER again! They both snore!!! I am not sure which one of them was worse but it was not pretty. We slept on air mattresses side by side in the living room. First I should let you know how my Mom LOVES to sleep in my bed. Whenever I come home late or even just make it up the stairs after her at night she sneaks into my bed turns the volume so low on the TV no one but her bionic ears can hear it and falls fast asleep. When I try to kick her out I always start of nicely or at least what I think is nice. And I always end up yelling at her to get out! This is usually when she throws a fit and stomps her way into her own room. Well anyway long story short I drug my god damned mattress into the kitchen and slept there. Below is a picture of our sleeping arrangements before the big move to the kitchen… Who is that on the left in my bed you ask? Yes, you are right it is Shelly! Even when my bed is an air mattress on the floor of an empty house my mother wants to steal my spot. DAMN YOU SHELLY! Your spot was on the other mattress! You know next to the hibernating grizzly bear named Mondo!  We had a super mellow 4th I think we were all pretty beat from all the hard work we put into the house. When it got dark we heard booms and walked out to the end of the driveway and watched the firework extravaganza that was out on the island by London Bridge then had a few more beers and went to bed. We woke up at around 6:00am and headed home before the crazy traffic. I spent the day with Shane had BBQ at his moms and went to the drive-in with him and his brother. Since his birthday is this coming Sunday we went to the reptile store and got his birthday present from me, a new cage for Owen Wilson! So I leave you with some random pictures from this past week:     And a couple from Shane’s trip to the Sequoias: