Hola!
So much has happened, is happening and is about to happen... More on all that soon.
Let's call this an IOU.
Until then.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
I’m a bad bad blogger!
Wow, has it really been 45 days since I last posted on this thing? I really am a bad blogger!
February was a rough month. I was shit canned on the 9th and I have been looking for a job since. After 5 long and grueling years in that hell the fuckers let me go. Ugh! I wasn’t upset leaving that place I was just apprehensive about finding something quick. I am happy to say Monday I will start a new venture so I guess you can call it a blessing in disguise. Thank you Baby Jesus!
I spend my days with the love of my life playing, napping, snacking and going on walks. We both are going to have a hard time when I go back to work :(
If you haven’t seen Alice in Wonderland yet GOOOOO!!! It was soooo goooood! Here is a picture of my cranky boyfriend waiting for it to start.
In other news my life partner is on a hiatus from the country and I couldn’t be enjoying it more.
February was a rough month. I was shit canned on the 9th and I have been looking for a job since. After 5 long and grueling years in that hell the fuckers let me go. Ugh! I wasn’t upset leaving that place I was just apprehensive about finding something quick. I am happy to say Monday I will start a new venture so I guess you can call it a blessing in disguise. Thank you Baby Jesus!
I spend my days with the love of my life playing, napping, snacking and going on walks. We both are going to have a hard time when I go back to work :(
If you haven’t seen Alice in Wonderland yet GOOOOO!!! It was soooo goooood! Here is a picture of my cranky boyfriend waiting for it to start.
In other news my life partner is on a hiatus from the country and I couldn’t be enjoying it more.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
A Short Letter To My Life Partner.
Dear Babe,
First and foremost happy birthday you old lady! Where oh where did the time go?
Oh yeah, it went here:
Here:
How can we forget here:
Ok, ok. Let's be honest with ourselves. I think it mostly went here:
Love you Lover!!!
I hope 26 is your best year yet.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU JW!!!
♥ me
First and foremost happy birthday you old lady! Where oh where did the time go?
Oh yeah, it went here:
Here:
How can we forget here:
Ok, ok. Let's be honest with ourselves. I think it mostly went here:
Love you Lover!!!
I hope 26 is your best year yet.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU JW!!!
♥ me
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Not Getting Any Younger
I know my Mother considers me a heathen but would it be too much to ask of Baby Jesus for a favor just this once? Please Jesus Cristo, break out one of your magic tricks and let us all skip over January 16th this year???
In exactly 2 days I will officially be an old woman. The big 2-5.
I am already feeling the effects of my age. I am pretty sure I am developing insomnia, my metabolism is shit (or maybe it’s just all the candy, beer and burritos I consume) even my wii fit mii is a fat ass. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am pretty sure my anxiety level rates at a 73. The bags under my eyes just seem to be getting worse. And don’t even get me started on how many grey hairs I already have. Long gone are the carefree days of my youth. Now I worry about work, bills, school, student loans, a car payment, etc., etc., etc… You get the point.
All that and retirement no where in sight!?!? URRGHHH!!! All powerful Allah I retract my previous request. Just strike me down now!!!
In exactly 2 days I will officially be an old woman. The big 2-5.
I am already feeling the effects of my age. I am pretty sure I am developing insomnia, my metabolism is shit (or maybe it’s just all the candy, beer and burritos I consume) even my wii fit mii is a fat ass. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am pretty sure my anxiety level rates at a 73. The bags under my eyes just seem to be getting worse. And don’t even get me started on how many grey hairs I already have. Long gone are the carefree days of my youth. Now I worry about work, bills, school, student loans, a car payment, etc., etc., etc… You get the point.
All that and retirement no where in sight!?!? URRGHHH!!! All powerful Allah I retract my previous request. Just strike me down now!!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Feliz Navidad!
Christmas was pretty mellow this year, that is until Saturday December 26th–27th but, more on that later. I will recount Christmas 2009 in chronological order… Note: To get you in the mood this post comes with background music courtosey of Celia Cruz:
Last week Shelly, Sonia and I went to sushi and Sonia gave Lollie a Christmas present. You will have to excuse the mess and the high pitch squealing from the photographer. Here is my 7lb bundle of joy tearing into Sonia’s gift:
Thanks Sonia! She loves it!!!
I am not sure if I am alone in saying this but 2009 you have been a son of a bitch! As the year comes to a close it has been nice to slow down and spend time with both Shane and my families. I had to work a half day Christmas Eve which made my procrastination shopping all the more stressful!!! My family was already in Lake Havasu and Shane’s family celebrates on Christmas day so Christmas Eve was spent maneuvering the other lunatics out last minute shopping and catching up on school work (ugh!). I finally made it over to Shane’s just about the time everyone else was coming over from visiting there own families and it was party time. The best part of the night was that my Life Partner came over to join in. Finally I got to see your face Julie Louise!!! Do you think Kev will notice if you stay and we replace your spot in the Rav with a blonde blow up doll or something of that sort???? For weeks Shane and I have been going round and round with each other about what we wanted for Christmas. I said a Glen Ivy gift certificate and he dead seriously said he wanted a Ukulele. Uhhhh Sir, a Ukulele??? He plays the guitar and has a few of them but a Ukulele caught me off guard. We went to one music store but he did not like what they had so we will be Ukulele hunting this week. I didn’t think he had gotten anything for me either since we were so last minute about the whole present thing so, I didn’t feel bad about not having a present for him. Try to imagine my surprised face when Christmas morning we were laying in bed nursing our hangovers and he jumps up and pulls this out of the closet:
He got me a wii!!!!!!! Not only got me a wii but costumed wrapped it himself and embellished it with the letter T using the whole bag of bows. I felt so bad I had nothing for him. Sorry babe! We spent Christmas day with his family at his Moms. We had dinner and spent time with everyone. I wish I would have taken pictures but I was doing all I could to just keep my 2nds of fruit salad down with my hangover. Shane was much worse off then I was, he was pale and had had to go lay down in his brothers bed. Matt (Shane’s brother) finally got Shane out of his bed and we went home to have a couple drinks. Matt was ready to go but the rest of us were pooped from the night before and couldn’t take round 2. We watched the football game and with the exception of Matt were all pretty lazy. Merry Christmas! The next morning we were supposed to drive out to Havasu to spend time with my parents but Shane’s snake has a repertory infection and he has to give him a shot everyday. Since no one else will touch Owen Wilson Shane conveniently had to stay home and I made the trek myself. I meet my Mom, Dad and Lollie at the house and we got ready for Sol’s troop to arrive. This is when the mellow holiday ended and the chaotic hustle and bustle of 5 kids began. While we were waiting for the troops we took the baby to the dog park: 
Before they passed away we would have holiday dinners with our grandparents and they would make arroz con frijoles negros, pernil, tostones and my favorite avocado! Plus all the other good stuff. My Grandmas black beans and rice were to die for. Literally that good! Solita kept up the tradition and cooked us up a Cuban style Christmas with black beans and rice, a baked pork leg and of course all the other good stuff. I hadn’t had meat in 2 months but my vegetarian diet went out the window for that meal. I just couldn’t pass it up. Sorry skinny bitches but I even ate the chicharrones (pig skin) off the top. Mmmmmmm… 
The kids went wild and played the wii. Cranberry vodkas were flowing and turned into rum and cokes which turned into tequila shots. Then Sol deserted me with the kids and I had to fend for myself for the rest of the night. Here are a few pictures of the kids playing: 
My favorite picture: 
This is Lizzy, she is Sol’s youngest and by far going to be the biggest trouble maker of them all. When you look at her she will look straight into your eyes and make a face like she’s thinking to herself “What do you think you are looking at asshole?” Once in awhile you could steal a hug from her but most of the time she had arterial motives behind those hugs. “If I hug her she will pick me up and I will be able to reach that naughty thing I’m not supposed to touch” Haha. She's the youngest but is defiantly the boss of the 5. 
The next morning Shelly and I took the kids to breakfast and then the store to pick out gifts with their gift cards. I bought myself the new Mario Bros. game for my wii!!! I don’t know how people handle kids, it was like herding cattle. I was looking at the wii games while the kids looked for their own and every time I turned around one was out of sight. My stress level was through the roof! I am way to self involved to care for anything other than my Lollie and let’s just say I will be doubling up on my birth control after seeing Sol with her 5 monsters!!! I loved spending time with Mandi sorry I mean Mondo (he is 12 now and likes to be called Mondo) I can’t believe how big he is. I wish I would have taken more pictures but like I mentioned before, the drinks were flowing and I was busy shoving carcass in my face. I drove home with my the love of my life. I wish I could say she kept me good company but the kids must have took it all out of her because this is what she did this the entire way home: 
She did that while I stared at my parents asses going 75 the whole way home. 75! Really? Live a little Fernandez's put the petal to the metal!!!!!!!!!! 
2010 HERE WE COME!!!
Last week Shelly, Sonia and I went to sushi and Sonia gave Lollie a Christmas present. You will have to excuse the mess and the high pitch squealing from the photographer. Here is my 7lb bundle of joy tearing into Sonia’s gift:
Thanks Sonia! She loves it!!!
I am not sure if I am alone in saying this but 2009 you have been a son of a bitch! As the year comes to a close it has been nice to slow down and spend time with both Shane and my families. I had to work a half day Christmas Eve which made my procrastination shopping all the more stressful!!! My family was already in Lake Havasu and Shane’s family celebrates on Christmas day so Christmas Eve was spent maneuvering the other lunatics out last minute shopping and catching up on school work (ugh!). I finally made it over to Shane’s just about the time everyone else was coming over from visiting there own families and it was party time. The best part of the night was that my Life Partner came over to join in. Finally I got to see your face Julie Louise!!! Do you think Kev will notice if you stay and we replace your spot in the Rav with a blonde blow up doll or something of that sort???? For weeks Shane and I have been going round and round with each other about what we wanted for Christmas. I said a Glen Ivy gift certificate and he dead seriously said he wanted a Ukulele. Uhhhh Sir, a Ukulele??? He plays the guitar and has a few of them but a Ukulele caught me off guard. We went to one music store but he did not like what they had so we will be Ukulele hunting this week. I didn’t think he had gotten anything for me either since we were so last minute about the whole present thing so, I didn’t feel bad about not having a present for him. Try to imagine my surprised face when Christmas morning we were laying in bed nursing our hangovers and he jumps up and pulls this out of the closet:
He got me a wii!!!!!!! Not only got me a wii but costumed wrapped it himself and embellished it with the letter T using the whole bag of bows. I felt so bad I had nothing for him. Sorry babe! We spent Christmas day with his family at his Moms. We had dinner and spent time with everyone. I wish I would have taken pictures but I was doing all I could to just keep my 2nds of fruit salad down with my hangover. Shane was much worse off then I was, he was pale and had had to go lay down in his brothers bed. Matt (Shane’s brother) finally got Shane out of his bed and we went home to have a couple drinks. Matt was ready to go but the rest of us were pooped from the night before and couldn’t take round 2. We watched the football game and with the exception of Matt were all pretty lazy. Merry Christmas! The next morning we were supposed to drive out to Havasu to spend time with my parents but Shane’s snake has a repertory infection and he has to give him a shot everyday. Since no one else will touch Owen Wilson Shane conveniently had to stay home and I made the trek myself. I meet my Mom, Dad and Lollie at the house and we got ready for Sol’s troop to arrive. This is when the mellow holiday ended and the chaotic hustle and bustle of 5 kids began. While we were waiting for the troops we took the baby to the dog park: 
Before they passed away we would have holiday dinners with our grandparents and they would make arroz con frijoles negros, pernil, tostones and my favorite avocado! Plus all the other good stuff. My Grandmas black beans and rice were to die for. Literally that good! Solita kept up the tradition and cooked us up a Cuban style Christmas with black beans and rice, a baked pork leg and of course all the other good stuff. I hadn’t had meat in 2 months but my vegetarian diet went out the window for that meal. I just couldn’t pass it up. Sorry skinny bitches but I even ate the chicharrones (pig skin) off the top. Mmmmmmm… 
The kids went wild and played the wii. Cranberry vodkas were flowing and turned into rum and cokes which turned into tequila shots. Then Sol deserted me with the kids and I had to fend for myself for the rest of the night. Here are a few pictures of the kids playing: 
My favorite picture: 
This is Lizzy, she is Sol’s youngest and by far going to be the biggest trouble maker of them all. When you look at her she will look straight into your eyes and make a face like she’s thinking to herself “What do you think you are looking at asshole?” Once in awhile you could steal a hug from her but most of the time she had arterial motives behind those hugs. “If I hug her she will pick me up and I will be able to reach that naughty thing I’m not supposed to touch” Haha. She's the youngest but is defiantly the boss of the 5. 
The next morning Shelly and I took the kids to breakfast and then the store to pick out gifts with their gift cards. I bought myself the new Mario Bros. game for my wii!!! I don’t know how people handle kids, it was like herding cattle. I was looking at the wii games while the kids looked for their own and every time I turned around one was out of sight. My stress level was through the roof! I am way to self involved to care for anything other than my Lollie and let’s just say I will be doubling up on my birth control after seeing Sol with her 5 monsters!!! I loved spending time with Mandi sorry I mean Mondo (he is 12 now and likes to be called Mondo) I can’t believe how big he is. I wish I would have taken more pictures but like I mentioned before, the drinks were flowing and I was busy shoving carcass in my face. I drove home with my the love of my life. I wish I could say she kept me good company but the kids must have took it all out of her because this is what she did this the entire way home: 
She did that while I stared at my parents asses going 75 the whole way home. 75! Really? Live a little Fernandez's put the petal to the metal!!!!!!!!!! 
2010 HERE WE COME!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Bunco with my Mom
Shelly plays Bunco with a group of ladies once a month. This month they were short a few players so she asked Sonia and myself if we wanted in on the action. I don’t know about Sonia but I reluctantly agreed. I had nothing to lose, worst case scenario there was still wine involved.
We walked in the door and met all the ladies. We were greeted with a story about Girl Scouts and KY?!?!? Something about they were learning to use tampons and if they had trouble they could use a little KY to help. Ooooook, I thought to myself? The odd part is that one of the ladies suggested using the kind with warming sensation. Now I’m thinking to myself “What the fuck did I get myself into?” I glance over at my mother and this bitch is cracking up! Uhhhhhh???? This sort of a reaction from the lady that is too conservative to refer to wooo haaa parts as anything other than “pee pees” (whether it is a boy/girl part does not matter they are all “pee pees” to her). I learned everything I know about tampons and all that good stuff from my sister because Shelly was to shy to talk to us about it and now here she is laughing hysterically about the KY Jelly joke?
So, the night progresses and we start playing Bunko. I roll the dice and I get a Bunko. I have no idea because this is my first time playing and have no clue what’s going on. But guess who screams “BUNKO!!! Tiff, you get the dick crown!!!” Who other than my fucking mother? Yep, those words came out of Shelly’s mouth. It was the first time I heard her refer to the male genitalia as “dick”. She calls people dicks all the time but NEVER calls a “pee pee” a dick.
I got the joy of wearing this little treasure until the next lady rolled a bunko and snatched it off my head.
(Sorry about the picture I had to take it as quick as I could. These ladies were serious about the game and to hell if the new girl was going to hold them up)
I also called Shelly out BIG TIME! Whoever is hosting Bunko that month gets a little present for the birthday girls of that month. I had no idea where the orchid came from all I know is Shelly kills EVERYTHING and there had been an orchid in the front garden and I kept bugging them to bring the thing inside because common sense is it is getting to cold for it at night. I don’t know how the subject got brought up but one of the ladies was talking about killing plants and I was all “Shelly is the worst. She has this orchid…” and all the sudden WHACK! Shelly’s eyes go huge and she slaps my arm. I was about to tell the same friend that gave her the orchid about how she is slowly killing the poor thing. Haha oops. Robin don’t worry Shelly has brought it inside. It may be a little brown here and there but never the less it is still kicking!
Since this is yet another post about Shelly’s antics I should probably shouldn't hold back and I should tell you about one day when her and her friend went to lunch and they were drunk texting me when I was trying to work.
This is Cyndee, she’s my favorite. And here is how the text messaging went…
Lunch with Shelly…
Bitches!!!
And those two replied with this picture of Cyndee’s neighbor? Apparently this is a normal thing for Cyndee’s negiborhood? All I know is they got me good. I was stumped, I had no come back to this...
What the hell? How could I have expected less from my girl Cyndee?
We walked in the door and met all the ladies. We were greeted with a story about Girl Scouts and KY?!?!? Something about they were learning to use tampons and if they had trouble they could use a little KY to help. Ooooook, I thought to myself? The odd part is that one of the ladies suggested using the kind with warming sensation. Now I’m thinking to myself “What the fuck did I get myself into?” I glance over at my mother and this bitch is cracking up! Uhhhhhh???? This sort of a reaction from the lady that is too conservative to refer to wooo haaa parts as anything other than “pee pees” (whether it is a boy/girl part does not matter they are all “pee pees” to her). I learned everything I know about tampons and all that good stuff from my sister because Shelly was to shy to talk to us about it and now here she is laughing hysterically about the KY Jelly joke?
So, the night progresses and we start playing Bunko. I roll the dice and I get a Bunko. I have no idea because this is my first time playing and have no clue what’s going on. But guess who screams “BUNKO!!! Tiff, you get the dick crown!!!” Who other than my fucking mother? Yep, those words came out of Shelly’s mouth. It was the first time I heard her refer to the male genitalia as “dick”. She calls people dicks all the time but NEVER calls a “pee pee” a dick.
I got the joy of wearing this little treasure until the next lady rolled a bunko and snatched it off my head.
(Sorry about the picture I had to take it as quick as I could. These ladies were serious about the game and to hell if the new girl was going to hold them up)
I also called Shelly out BIG TIME! Whoever is hosting Bunko that month gets a little present for the birthday girls of that month. I had no idea where the orchid came from all I know is Shelly kills EVERYTHING and there had been an orchid in the front garden and I kept bugging them to bring the thing inside because common sense is it is getting to cold for it at night. I don’t know how the subject got brought up but one of the ladies was talking about killing plants and I was all “Shelly is the worst. She has this orchid…” and all the sudden WHACK! Shelly’s eyes go huge and she slaps my arm. I was about to tell the same friend that gave her the orchid about how she is slowly killing the poor thing. Haha oops. Robin don’t worry Shelly has brought it inside. It may be a little brown here and there but never the less it is still kicking!
Since this is yet another post about Shelly’s antics I should probably shouldn't hold back and I should tell you about one day when her and her friend went to lunch and they were drunk texting me when I was trying to work.
This is Cyndee, she’s my favorite. And here is how the text messaging went…
Lunch with Shelly…
Bitches!!!
And those two replied with this picture of Cyndee’s neighbor? Apparently this is a normal thing for Cyndee’s negiborhood? All I know is they got me good. I was stumped, I had no come back to this...
What the hell? How could I have expected less from my girl Cyndee?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Here goes nothing...
It has been FOREVER since I last blogged. I started a few posts but have not finished one. Right now I have 3 sitting in the draft folder of my Outlook. Life has sort of been put on hold since the accident with Lollie. A lot has happened, seems like one thing after another. I am back and will make an attempt at remembering the important stuff. Here we go…
Lollie Dollie
The love of my life is doing great! The doctors can’t believe how great she is doing and say she must really love us to pull through what she did. She wasn’t even supposed to make it through the first night. She is back to doing her normal things playing, eating treats, going on walks, mostly being naughty. She still has a head tilt and gets a little off balance but has only been a month and it will be months before her punctured eardrum heals and her equilibrium comes back. Her left eye still looks a little bit bigger because of the infection behind the eye and in her inner eardrum from the bacteria in the coyote’s mouth (the bacteria in their mouth is so gnarly because they eat dead things and the Neurologist said that an infection may pop up and it did). NASTY! Just another reason we should exterminate those horrible fuckers don’t you think? She still has a long way to go and a whole lot of healing to do but she is getting there. The doctors are “optimistic for a full recovery”. We went back to the lake house for the first time. She was so happy to be there and showed no signs of associating the house with the accident she could have been happier to be there and loved being on the lake with us.
Yo Tristan
I am ready for you to move back to the states now. To be honest I have been ready since the day you left 6 long years ago. Incase you didn’t hear the Philippines was hit with a major typhoon. Manila (where she’s at) was hit the hardest. It rains like crazy there so imagine what happened when as much rain as they usually get in the month of September came down in a matter of 6 hours. My sister lives in a 3 story house that is sooo cutely decorated. And if you know my sister you know what I mean her whole house is super nice. The water started coming in her house and flooded about 2 feet high into her bottom floor. She tried to put everything up but she could only do what she could. She had Mailee and Maui to keep busy on the top floors while she waited for Bran. Bran was trying to get to them but was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic (and I am not talking LA traffic much much WORSE!!! I know hard to imagine but its true I’ve seen it) it took him 6 hours to go 5 miles! Once he got out of the stopped traffic he parked the car far from their house and had to walk in chest high water. Everything on that floor is ruined, stove, washer/dryer couches, etc. They have been hit by more typhoons and storms but nothing like the first. They are all fine but the people that lost everything are not. Pray for the Philippines . Don’t you think it is time to come home???
A surprise visit
We had a very special surprise visit from my cousin Christina! We haven’t seen her or her husband Dave since they got married a while back and that trip was full of under aged drinking, I won’t mention any names (Lynnsey Erin!!!) haha. They live up in the Reno area and drove down to visit and introduce their new addition to family. It was the first time we got to meet Baby Riley!!! He looks EXACTLY like Chris. He looks just like her now and even more like her baby pictures, like twins! He was the cutest little thing, we couldn’t stop squeezing his chubby little baby thighs. I tried to get the web cam up and get on with Tristan and Miles but my damn USB ports are not recognizing when you stick anything in them!?!?!? We could see them but they couldn’t see the baby :(
They said he was in a cranky mood but he was so sweet and all smiles. Riley is 7 months, I have only really met one baby that age and it was Miles when she was 6 months. And let me tell you… Riley’s cranky was no way near Mile’s cranky!!! Thanks for the visit guys we loved Riley!!! I can’t wait until all the babies get to play together next summer. I just hope your babies don’t get any ideas of pulling my babies tail :)
Transferred!
It only took me 6 years but I FINALLY transferred and I will be working on a bachelor’s degree instead of an A.A. I had better knock off my spending habits from the looks of school loans (hello budget and adios online shopping) I finally decided to pull my head out of my ass and get it done with. Wish me luck, I need it. Business degree here I come!!! I’m not making any promises Mom and Dad but maybe I will finish before its time for me to retire.
No promises.
Shrink Wrap and a Road Trip
Friday my mother and Lollie and I headed to Havasu to meet Dad and friends out at the house. They drove out the night before in a caravan of 4 vehicles towing 4 Sea-Doos and a trailer full of furniture. I guess I should stop here and tell you about that said furniture… Well, my Dad was out at his plant in SD and somehow got a wild hair up his ass and bought a sleeper couch, a bedroom set, 2 area rugs, a mattress and box spring. The kitchen table we bought 2 MONTHS AGO finally arrived earlier last week and he hauled the new furniture home. It all sat on the trailer in front of the house for days and the night before he was driving it out to Havasu I found myself in the front yard loading the shit strategically on to the trailer. Once all the sit was piled high and I thought he was good to go I found myself helping my Dad shrink wrap the furniture to the trailer. I wish I would have taken a picture, it was a sight. Must have worked because he made it the 300 (give or take) miles with out any problems.
Satuday we spent the day on the lake and I had so much fun! We wakeborded, skied, kneeboarded, Sea-Dooed (sp?) and hung out in a cove.
Why didn’t someone tell me to squeeze my cheeks?!?!?!?
Ok if you have ever been offended by my blog in the past here is where you do yourself a favor and stop reading…
So, while we were on the lake messing around it must have slipped my mind how much fun my friend Kimmy is because I blame her for my bruised tailbone. Some one had the bright idea to go check out Copper Canyon . And someone else had an even brighter idea to jump off the 50ft cliff (what the fuck was I thinking???). It did not take anything to talk Kimmy into jumping with me and I thought it was no big deal. Well, me and Kimmy rode the See-Doos while everyone else toke a ride in the boat. Once we got there we started to get nervous so we pounded Coors Light’s and jumped in the water to swim to the cliff. We climbed up the rock and started to get even more nervous. I tried to talk her into jumping from the smaller jump but Kimmy has MUCH bigger balls then I do and turned to me and said and I quote “We’re already here we might as well go to the top” Damn you Kimmy!!! I followed her to the very tippity top and watched her jump. That’s when I turned around and looked at the guy behind me who was even more scared shitless then myself and said “FUCK!!! She jumped and now I have to!” I hesitantly climbed to the top in cheap sandals and stood there looking 50ft down into the water. To the right you can see a big ass rock just under the water and you can envision yourself going SPLAT! You want to be sure you push off the right way which felt impossible trying to get your footing while you’re buzzed up and it’s windy up there. I could hear the crowd cheering me on but it must have taken me longer then they liked because I heard one heckler yell PUSSY! Haha I knew I was going to jump I was stuck. I took a deep breath and leaped off the rock.
The fall felt great until I hit the water. It hurt so bad I didn’t even paddle to the surface I just let my blubber take me up. When I came up I saw Ray on the See Doo and it must have looked like it hurt because he looked at my bulging eyes and asked if I was ok and I tried my hardest to answer him but the pain took my breath away. I got out “I’m fine but I think I ripped my butthole open”. He laughed and I swam to the boat and climbed up and I shared with everyone that I think I just received an episiotomy courtesy of Lake Havasu . They also laughed but I was dead serious. I have had a lake enema before but not like this, not both ways. My Dad took me to the dock where I pushed out a little turd and my butt wash bleeding. How gross am I? I pooped and my asshole was bleeding!!! I almost made my mom look up my brown eye but I felt much better by the time we got back to the house. My tailbone is bruised and it hurts like a bitch!!!!!! I know I shouldn’t share things like this on the internet but friends and family take it from me next time you jump 50ft make sure you SQUEEZE YOUR CHEEKS! And most importantly avoid a butt flop!
I am now fresh and clean and you can thank me later for the advice. Until next time bitches.
Lollie Dollie
The love of my life is doing great! The doctors can’t believe how great she is doing and say she must really love us to pull through what she did. She wasn’t even supposed to make it through the first night. She is back to doing her normal things playing, eating treats, going on walks, mostly being naughty. She still has a head tilt and gets a little off balance but has only been a month and it will be months before her punctured eardrum heals and her equilibrium comes back. Her left eye still looks a little bit bigger because of the infection behind the eye and in her inner eardrum from the bacteria in the coyote’s mouth (the bacteria in their mouth is so gnarly because they eat dead things and the Neurologist said that an infection may pop up and it did). NASTY! Just another reason we should exterminate those horrible fuckers don’t you think? She still has a long way to go and a whole lot of healing to do but she is getting there. The doctors are “optimistic for a full recovery”. We went back to the lake house for the first time. She was so happy to be there and showed no signs of associating the house with the accident she could have been happier to be there and loved being on the lake with us.
Yo Tristan
I am ready for you to move back to the states now. To be honest I have been ready since the day you left 6 long years ago. Incase you didn’t hear the Philippines was hit with a major typhoon. Manila (where she’s at) was hit the hardest. It rains like crazy there so imagine what happened when as much rain as they usually get in the month of September came down in a matter of 6 hours. My sister lives in a 3 story house that is sooo cutely decorated. And if you know my sister you know what I mean her whole house is super nice. The water started coming in her house and flooded about 2 feet high into her bottom floor. She tried to put everything up but she could only do what she could. She had Mailee and Maui to keep busy on the top floors while she waited for Bran. Bran was trying to get to them but was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic (and I am not talking LA traffic much much WORSE!!! I know hard to imagine but its true I’ve seen it) it took him 6 hours to go 5 miles! Once he got out of the stopped traffic he parked the car far from their house and had to walk in chest high water. Everything on that floor is ruined, stove, washer/dryer couches, etc. They have been hit by more typhoons and storms but nothing like the first. They are all fine but the people that lost everything are not. Pray for the Philippines . Don’t you think it is time to come home???
A surprise visit
We had a very special surprise visit from my cousin Christina! We haven’t seen her or her husband Dave since they got married a while back and that trip was full of under aged drinking, I won’t mention any names (Lynnsey Erin!!!) haha. They live up in the Reno area and drove down to visit and introduce their new addition to family. It was the first time we got to meet Baby Riley!!! He looks EXACTLY like Chris. He looks just like her now and even more like her baby pictures, like twins! He was the cutest little thing, we couldn’t stop squeezing his chubby little baby thighs. I tried to get the web cam up and get on with Tristan and Miles but my damn USB ports are not recognizing when you stick anything in them!?!?!? We could see them but they couldn’t see the baby :(
They said he was in a cranky mood but he was so sweet and all smiles. Riley is 7 months, I have only really met one baby that age and it was Miles when she was 6 months. And let me tell you… Riley’s cranky was no way near Mile’s cranky!!! Thanks for the visit guys we loved Riley!!! I can’t wait until all the babies get to play together next summer. I just hope your babies don’t get any ideas of pulling my babies tail :)
Transferred!
It only took me 6 years but I FINALLY transferred and I will be working on a bachelor’s degree instead of an A.A. I had better knock off my spending habits from the looks of school loans (hello budget and adios online shopping) I finally decided to pull my head out of my ass and get it done with. Wish me luck, I need it. Business degree here I come!!! I’m not making any promises Mom and Dad but maybe I will finish before its time for me to retire.
No promises.
Shrink Wrap and a Road Trip
Friday my mother and Lollie and I headed to Havasu to meet Dad and friends out at the house. They drove out the night before in a caravan of 4 vehicles towing 4 Sea-Doos and a trailer full of furniture. I guess I should stop here and tell you about that said furniture… Well, my Dad was out at his plant in SD and somehow got a wild hair up his ass and bought a sleeper couch, a bedroom set, 2 area rugs, a mattress and box spring. The kitchen table we bought 2 MONTHS AGO finally arrived earlier last week and he hauled the new furniture home. It all sat on the trailer in front of the house for days and the night before he was driving it out to Havasu I found myself in the front yard loading the shit strategically on to the trailer. Once all the sit was piled high and I thought he was good to go I found myself helping my Dad shrink wrap the furniture to the trailer. I wish I would have taken a picture, it was a sight. Must have worked because he made it the 300 (give or take) miles with out any problems.
Satuday we spent the day on the lake and I had so much fun! We wakeborded, skied, kneeboarded, Sea-Dooed (sp?) and hung out in a cove.
Why didn’t someone tell me to squeeze my cheeks?!?!?!?
Ok if you have ever been offended by my blog in the past here is where you do yourself a favor and stop reading…
So, while we were on the lake messing around it must have slipped my mind how much fun my friend Kimmy is because I blame her for my bruised tailbone. Some one had the bright idea to go check out Copper Canyon . And someone else had an even brighter idea to jump off the 50ft cliff (what the fuck was I thinking???). It did not take anything to talk Kimmy into jumping with me and I thought it was no big deal. Well, me and Kimmy rode the See-Doos while everyone else toke a ride in the boat. Once we got there we started to get nervous so we pounded Coors Light’s and jumped in the water to swim to the cliff. We climbed up the rock and started to get even more nervous. I tried to talk her into jumping from the smaller jump but Kimmy has MUCH bigger balls then I do and turned to me and said and I quote “We’re already here we might as well go to the top” Damn you Kimmy!!! I followed her to the very tippity top and watched her jump. That’s when I turned around and looked at the guy behind me who was even more scared shitless then myself and said “FUCK!!! She jumped and now I have to!” I hesitantly climbed to the top in cheap sandals and stood there looking 50ft down into the water. To the right you can see a big ass rock just under the water and you can envision yourself going SPLAT! You want to be sure you push off the right way which felt impossible trying to get your footing while you’re buzzed up and it’s windy up there. I could hear the crowd cheering me on but it must have taken me longer then they liked because I heard one heckler yell PUSSY! Haha I knew I was going to jump I was stuck. I took a deep breath and leaped off the rock.
The fall felt great until I hit the water. It hurt so bad I didn’t even paddle to the surface I just let my blubber take me up. When I came up I saw Ray on the See Doo and it must have looked like it hurt because he looked at my bulging eyes and asked if I was ok and I tried my hardest to answer him but the pain took my breath away. I got out “I’m fine but I think I ripped my butthole open”. He laughed and I swam to the boat and climbed up and I shared with everyone that I think I just received an episiotomy courtesy of Lake Havasu . They also laughed but I was dead serious. I have had a lake enema before but not like this, not both ways. My Dad took me to the dock where I pushed out a little turd and my butt wash bleeding. How gross am I? I pooped and my asshole was bleeding!!! I almost made my mom look up my brown eye but I felt much better by the time we got back to the house. My tailbone is bruised and it hurts like a bitch!!!!!! I know I shouldn’t share things like this on the internet but friends and family take it from me next time you jump 50ft make sure you SQUEEZE YOUR CHEEKS! And most importantly avoid a butt flop!
Kimmy's Jump :)
My Jump :(
I am now fresh and clean and you can thank me later for the advice. Until next time bitches.
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